can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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