I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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