I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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