All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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