My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
