The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
