Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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