Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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