Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
