I hate your face
420 ftw
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
