So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
