So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
