he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
