I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
