Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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