today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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