well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
