wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
