Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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