There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
