I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
