i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
