you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
