i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
