Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
