not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
