Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
