I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
