if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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