My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
