I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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