I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
soo... how was my night?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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