This girl is more easily done than said...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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