I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
