No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Randomize
