She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
