i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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