I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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