I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Let's paint friendship bongs
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
wow bdsm is so cute
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
