I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
