So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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