If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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