I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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