whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's Friday. Sex?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
