He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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