My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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