I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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