my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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