Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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