Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
