You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
