Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
