508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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